We are boring people.

So, we are trying to plan a getaway this July for our anniversary... five years. And we are trying to plan it without Kashia.  It was really hard for us to come to terms with that, but my mom has been begging us to spend some time with her and I know that Yaotshing and I have not made any time for each other since she was born.  I think we've had two dates in 8 months, well make that one attempt (bc we ended up just walking around the lake then it got too late we had to go pick her up) and one movie/Applebees night out. hehe. This is life after marriage folks.

Anyways, we've thought of everything, staying in the states, going overseas, going upstate... everything just seems so boring.  We've done the big cities, the tropics and beaches, the camping in the woods, THAILAND... there's nothing new to explore that is worthwhile, everything seems to be the same experience after a while.  Is it worth it just to be able to say "Been there, done that"?  I mean in the end you'll have all these amazing pictures and all, but we're not really fun people.  We don't dress up, drink or dance.  Yao is extremely frugal so even when we go somewhere with things to do, we just end up taking pictures outside of the buildings and keep on walkin. All we end up doing is shop for souvenirs, eat and stay in and swim or watch movies.  I'd love to blame this on parenthood but we've always been like this.  After 6 months of NO alone time, we finally end up trying to go out and we end up down the street at the mall movie theater and Applebees.  And that seriously took a lot of effort!

For months now, Yaotshing and I have been trying to brainstorm places to go.  I started to get worried that we were not adventurous enough, we were going to waste our anniversary and be boring people that just went out to Applebees.  I mean, five years of love, fighting, compromising, moving across the country, Kashia... doesn't that deserve celebration?  For some people they sacrifice so much to be save up time and money to vacation.  I feel so ungrateful for having the time and money but not having any desire to go.  But then today I started to realize, I shouldn't force myself to want to do something only for the sake of having done something.

I'm praying that God will change my heart.  I want to want to do something worthwhile and be given a chance to spend some time with my husband.  We've been talking about this for so long now, and now that it's here, we couldn't be less interested.

Well, Yaotshing did suggest today that we could go to Six Flags, but.... I said no.

God, be with you.

Show me the way God, and I will follow with all of my heart, with no more worries or reservations.  You have been with me through my ups and downs in life, delivering me the light when I was surrounded by complete darkness.  As selfish as I was yesterday and today, and as much as I would like to consider or view my life as very important, in the end I am only a mere piece of an intricate, and seemingly endless puzzle.  God, be with you.  YJS

 Romans 11:33-36
³³ Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and^[b] knowledge of God!
    How unsearchable his judgments,
    and his paths beyond tracing out!
³⁴ “Who has known the mind of the Lord?
    Or who has been his counselor?”^[c]
35 “Who has ever given to God,
    that God should repay them?”^[d]
36 For from him and through him and for him are all things.
    To him be the glory forever! Amen.