home

We just got in to Michigan and boy does it feel good to be at home.  I never lived in this house, but it is where my parents and Taying live, and every time I come here I feel I am where I should be.  We've visited them here twice before during Christmas, and once on a whim with Jason and Gaojai... this is our first time with Kashia and I hope she loves it as much as I do.  I know for sure she's going to like crawling around everywhere as she is always couped up inside our apartment.  I love the hardwood floors, it reminds me of our old Brooklyn Center home, especially with the heat on.  I like to walk around barefoot and hear the creaks.

Today when we got back, I was watching my mom cook- yes she didn't need my help as she is the perfect cook... and well, I was being nosy and just opening all the cupboards and looking at all her things.  Every time I opened a cupboard I thought to myself, "I need that!" "That is so cute!" "Now that's how I want my dishes to be organized."  Everything about my mom, I want to someday embody.  The way she places the towel on the rack or puts the shoes at the door or the way she makes the bed is just so cute and perfect. I want to be like my mom.  One achievement she's had all my life, no matter how old the home we've lived in, the sink may be piled high with our mess and our clothes can be all over the bedroom floors, but the bathroom...the bathroom was always clean. I don't know why these things are so significant to me, they just are.  Everything about the way my mom takes care of each home they've moved into welcomes me in like it is my own.

Another thing... My mom can just dig around an empty fridge and make the best meals.  Gosh I just miss everything about her. When I was younger I used to think that I couldn't wait to get out of the house and by my own groceries...I couldn't wait to buy all the junk I wanted and not have anyone put it back at the register (though Yao does make me do that still. haha).  But now my fridge is filled with all that junk and I want nothing more than to eat my moms last minute egg soup or beef jerky.  Sometimes the simple things about her cooking is what makes it so good! But no matter what I do, I can never replicate her style.  And I know Yaotshing and Hoxav have lost hope in my attempts.

My dad on the other hand.  Honestly, I miss his smell.  I smell it in everything in the house.  Maybe it's just the detergent, but the towels and the comforters really do me in.  When I take a big whiff of the sheets, it's just like hiding out in his closet behind all his suits waiting for Ho-Shia or Ho-Seng to find me.  Or when there's a thunderstorm and I jump into bed with my parents, and scootch towards my dad until he puts his arms around me and I can finally sleep.  That's just about all I need.  I don't need a deep conversation with my dad to feel close to him, I just need the friendly reminder that he is near.

I love my family and I am glad that Kashia gets to spend this time with my parents.
Now... she better stop crying and making my mom hide from her.